Vegan Blueberry Muffins & My Titiksha Test (of the day)

Vegan Blueberry Muffins
Vegan Blueberry Muffins

Titiksha – (Sanskrit) Endurance or forbearance to withstand all forms of challenges in life

When I first stumbled across the concept of titiksha I knew immediately that this was something I wanted. Wanted pretty desperately, actually. Even-mindedness in all conditions. I could only imagine a life in which I could interact with other humans and not get angry. Or defensive. Or frustrated. It sounded too good to be true for someone like me, whose ego flared at the slightest inconvenience. Sure, it worked for the monks in their quiet little monasteries, but could it work for me in a loud world that seemed bent on ticking me off? As with everything else that I really wanted but wasn’t sure I could really achieve, I gave it a hopeful, We’ll see. And then I got to work.

It’s never so much the actual emergencies that throw me off, because I tend to deal pretty well with those. My brain thinks clearly, and I can most always react appropriately and quickly. I just get done what needs to get done. Here’s a for instance: Shortly after Scott and I were married, we had friends over for dinner. We were talking and laughing right up until Scott started to choke on a bite of his meal. Like, no-breath-red-faced-panicked-eyes choking. You could see his life flashing before him. So what was there to do besides get him up, perform the Heimlich, and force out the deadly bite of beef? And then? Resume life, obviously.

Tragedy Averted

Once the tragedy had been averted, I sat back down and finished my meal. Problem solved. Moving on. I imagine I must have had a post-emergency surge of adrenaline, and I remember my friends staring in shock. And I’m pretty sure I recall some slightly hysterical laughter from Scott, but I really, really like to take care of business. So I did.

But give me much (much) smaller things, like a moment when things don’t go my way, or plans get foiled. Or trivial interruptions waste my time (I do really poorly with that one). Or any one of the things that happen on a much more regular basis than near-death experiences. Give me any of those, and I’m instantly rattled. Which is bad, because on some days nothing goes according to plan, and the day has the potential to be a roller-coaster of irritation. I’ve never trended towards worry, or sadness, or guilt; anger, or some equally destructive variation of it, was always my emotion of choice.

Vegan Blueberry Muffins
Vegan Blueberry Muffins
I Find My Calm

So when I read about this (seemingly impossible) concept of calmness, no matter what life throws at me, I had to give it a try. Calm in the desperately sorrowful moments, calm in the desperately happy moments, calm in the desperately infuriating moments. The thought of a life free from the spontaneously angry anger (that always seemed to be firmly in control) was more than a little bit tantalizing. Peaceful calm sounded like Heaven–especially when you consider that I was coming off the heels of panic where calm was nonexistent. I was exhausted and thoroughly fed up with letting my emotions run my life. They were doing a terrible job and making a horrific mess of things. They’d landed me in trouble throughout my entire life, and I figured there had to be a better way.

Looking back, I imagine that this is why I needed ten long years of panic to break me. By the time my guru got to me, I was open to anything that would make this life bearable. I was receptive and eager for ways other than my own, because all that my ways had brought me was an awful lot of pain. So titiksha? It sounded like the answer to my prayers.

Miniscule Span

But don’t get the idea that titiksha implies rolling over and playing dead to life. One of the most appealing aspects of the whole notion was that I get to keep my reasoning, problem-solving mind. It’s more like a matter of taking everything in stride, doing what needs to be done, but getting rattled by none of it.

How am I doing? Some days I pass with flying colors, and others…not so much. I’ve been working on it consistently for several years now, and there’s been no shortage of opportunities to test my growth. Daily. Hourly. Sometimes even by the minute. But what’s happening (slowly) is that instead of my emotions dictating my reactions, now my reason (more often) dictates my reactions. Instead of resisting what is, I surrender to it.

And what I discovered is this minuscule span of time between the event and my (emotional) reaction to it, and if I rest in that space instead of launching into a purely emotional response, I find my calm. So instead of carrying around this anchor of anger all day long, I calmly enjoy the happy moments. And I calmly endure all the others.

Like yesterday.

Vegan Blueberry Muffins
Vegan Blueberry Muffins
Victory Seemed Close

I’ve been working really diligently on finding my groove with this business, and the blogging, and, you know, all the rest of my life. It’s why I had to let Instagram go, at least for now, although I can see a time in the future when I might (perhaps) be able to resume. But for now, every spare minute has been spent on getting this space where we want it, and trying (so far to no avail) to get ahead on the posts. I hate finding myself tweaking, inserting photos, editing, and more editing at the very last minute. I’m not a procrastinator by nature, so this just-under-the-wire thing is somewhat taxing. And even though I (mostly) maintain my calm, I’m still striving to do things in a way that suits me better.

And early yesterday I was feeling slightly optimistic; victory seemed so close. I spent the morning working on a blog post that was nearly done, which would leave me the afternoon to work on the next and within a day or so I should be ahead of schedule. The idea was exciting, and I was working hard to make it happen, but I was obviously relishing my victory a little too soon…

But Yes.

Lunch was done, the kitchen was clean, and I happily sat down to finish things up. Happily, that is, until I opened my computer and found something thoroughly non-happy staring back at me. Evidently my last “save draft” had failed and all my hard work of the morning? Poof. Gone.

No.

No.

Nooooo.

But yes.

And, eyes on your own paper, class. The test has begun. Good luck.

Things Were Looking Iffy

Okay, so this was my moment to pause, right? To calmly grasp the space and choose something other than the anger that was eagerly brewing. To just deal with it, and remedy the problem. And yeah, it probably would have felt somewhat satisfying to toss my computer across the room, but in the end, what would that accomplish? I whispered bravely to myself that I was exactly where God wanted me to be. But why? Why? To gauge my progress? Well, things were looking iffy.

Head down in my hands with a moan. Riley Mae questioning my (dramatic) behavior before wisely falling silent. And all the while I’m telling myself that it’s fine. I can rewrite the post. This is where God wants me, so chill out already. All spoken over the steady chant of no. no. no.

I was failing. All I could think about was all of those hours–wasted. I even contemplated quitting; the post didn’t need to be written. (But…it was about God. So quitting probably wasn’t even really an option.) And even though I still had the original rough (and terrible) draft, I had no interest in rewriting the post. This wasn’t my afternoon plan. But every time I grabbed that calm, it slipped through my fingers. And with Riley Mae cautiously watching, I stood up…and I stepped away from it all.

And I walked–barefoot, with springtime grass between my toes, springtime sun on thirsty skin. Watching chickens scritch-scratch and wandering the yard as I kept reaching for that quiet. I figured the anger couldn’t win unless I gave up, and giving up meant getting furious. So I kept fighting.

Pear Blossoms

I eventually ended up settled on a soft bed of moss with ants exploring my feet, pear blossoms scattered all around, and the sun warming my back. I was also engaged in a pretty good heart-to-heart with God and Guru. Probably a solid hour passed before I felt the battle lessening and the anger finally slinking away in defeat. And then? I came back inside…and rewrote the post.

I got my grade back today. A strong A for effort with C- overall. Because it took me an awful loooong time to maintain that calm over something so trivial. But I’m happy and I’ll take it, because for most of my life I would’ve pulled a solid F. I’m making acceptable progress and I have no doubt I’ll have ample opportunities to retest. An A is in my future, and won’t Mom be proud.

And that is the story of the post that almost wasn’t. But was. (Or will be on Monday.) And now it’s time to treat myself with a vegan blueberry muffin, because they’re tasty. And I earned it.

Growing is such hard work.

Have a happy day, folks. xoxo

Vegan Blueberry Muffins
Vegan Blueberry Muffins
0 from 0 votes
Vegan Blueberry Muffins
Prep Time
10 mins
Cook Time
25 mins
Total Time
35 mins
 
Course: Breakfast
Cuisine: Vegan
Keyword: Blueberry Muffins
Servings: 9 muffins
Calories: 240 kcal
Author: Melinda
Ingredients
  • 2 cups rolled oats ground into flour
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon cream of tartar
  • 1 cup blueberries frozen or fresh
  • ½ cup coconut milk any plant-based milk or water
  • cup pure maple syrup
  • ¼ cup chia egg see bottom of recipe
  • ¼ cup coconut oil melted
  • ¼ cup unsweetened applesauce
Muffin Crumble Topping
  • ½ cup rolled oats ground into flour
  • 2 tablespoons rolled oats whole
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil melted
  • 1 tablespoon pure maple syrup
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Instructions
Muffins
  1. Preheat oven to 350°

  2. 1. Add the flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and cream of tartar to a mixing bowl; stir well.

  3. 2. Add the blueberries and stir again.

  4. 3. Add the milk, maple syrup, chia egg, oil, and applesauce to the dry ingredients. Mix thoroughly.

  5. 4. Scoop the batter into lined muffin pans and sprinkle with Crumble Topping.

  6. 5. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.  

Muffin Crumble Topping
  1. Mix together all of the topping ingredients and sprinkle evenly over the muffin tops before baking.

Chia Egg
  1. 1. Add 2 tablespoons of chia seeds to a small coffee grinder and grind thoroughly.

  2. 2. Pour them into a small bowl and add 1 cup of water. Whisk immediately and thoroughly.

  3. 3. Let the mixture sit for 5 minutes or so to thicken. Stir again and store the extra chia egg in the refrigerator.

  4. (Flax eggs and chia eggs can be used interchangeably)

Nutrition Facts
Vegan Blueberry Muffins
Amount Per Serving (1 muffin)
Calories 240 Calories from Fat 117
% Daily Value*
Fat 13g20%
Saturated Fat 10g63%
Sodium 66mg3%
Potassium 198mg6%
Carbohydrates 30g10%
Fiber 4g17%
Sugar 11g12%
Protein 4g8%
Vitamin A 10IU0%
Vitamin C 2mg2%
Calcium 36mg4%
Iron 1.3mg7%
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2000 calorie diet.
0 from 0 votes
Vegan Blueberry Muffins (sugar-free)
Prep Time
10 mins
Cook Time
30 mins
Total Time
40 mins
 
Course: Breakfast
Cuisine: Vegan
Keyword: Blueberry Muffins (sugar-free)
Servings: 10 muffins
Calories: 212 kcal
Author: Melinda
Ingredients
Muffins
  • 1⅓ cups rolled oats ground into flour
  • cup coconut flour
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • ½ teaspoon Sweetleaf stevia powder
  • ½ teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon cream of tartar
  • 1 cup blueberries fresh or frozen
  • 1 cup water
  • ½ cup chia egg
  • ¼ cup coconut oil melted
  • ¼ cup unsweetened applesauce
Muffin Crumble Topping (sugar free)
  • 5 tablespoons rolled oats slightly ground
  • 4 tablespoons coconut oil melted
  • 2 tablespoons rolled oats whole
  • 2 tablespoons coconut flour
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • teaspoon Sweetleaf stevia powder
Instructions
Muffins
  1. Preheat oven to 375°

  2. 1. Add the flours, cinnamon, stevia, baking soda, and cream of tartar to a mixing bowl and stir well.

  3. 2. Add the blueberries and stir again.

  4. 3. Add the water, chia egg, oil, and applesauce to a separate bowl; mix thoroughly.

  5. 4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and mix well.

  6. 5. Scoop the batter into lined muffin pans, sprinkle with the muffin crumble, and bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.  

Muffin Crumble Topping
  1. Mix together all of the topping ingredients and sprinkle evenly over the muffin tops before baking.

Chia Egg
  1. 1. Add 2 tablespoons of chia seeds to a small coffee grinder and grind thoroughly.

  2. 2. Pour them into a small bowl and add 1 cup of water. Whisk immediately and thoroughly.

  3. 3. Let the mixture sit for 5 minutes or so to thicken. Stir again and store the extra chia egg in the refrigerator.

  4. (Chia eggs and flax eggs can be used interchangeably)

Recipe Notes

I have found that not all stevia products are created equal, some are far sweeter than others. After testing several brands I prefer using the powdered SweetLeaf organic stevia leaf extract which is what I use in all of my recipes. If you opt for another brand some adjustments might need to be made; I'd suggest testing the batter for sweetness before baking. Start small and add more if needed!

Nutrition Facts
Vegan Blueberry Muffins (sugar-free)
Amount Per Serving (1 muffin)
Calories 212 Calories from Fat 126
% Daily Value*
Fat 14g22%
Saturated Fat 12g75%
Sodium 16mg1%
Potassium 128mg4%
Carbohydrates 19g6%
Fiber 5g21%
Sugar 3g3%
Protein 3g6%
Vitamin A 10IU0%
Vitamin C 1.6mg2%
Calcium 26mg3%
Iron 1mg6%
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2000 calorie diet.

For more vegan fare please hop on over to my Recipes page. Also, Vegan Blueberry Muffins can be found in my cookbook, Compassion Tastes Better

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